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The Agility Grinch
From Marquand Cheek
Words 'borrowed' from MGM's 1966 Film of Dr. Suess' "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" with some third, sixth and ninth verse agility additions.........
NOTE: Verses titled by AKC categories, but could be any flavor really.
EXCELLENT VERSES:
You're a mean one, Mr. Judge
You really are a Heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Judge...
You're a bad banana ... with a greasy black peel !!! ...
You're a Monster, Mr. Judge
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Judge...
I wouldn't touch you ... with a 39&1/2 foot pole !!! ...
You're a cruel one, Mr. Judge
A collapsed tunnel under the A-Frame.
Your triple is despicable,
And the off-side weaves are very lame, Mr. Judge...
We think you're as dumb as a pile of rocks and can only guess that you got your license out of... a Cracker Jack Box !!! ...
OPEN VERSES:
You're a vile one, Mr. Judge
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Judge
... Given the choice between the two of you, ...
I'd take a ... the Sea Sick Crocodile!!! ...
You're a Rotter, Mr. Judge
You're the King of Sinful sots.
You're a harsh and dead tomato
Splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Judge...
You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich... with Arsenic Sauce!!! ...
You're an evil one, Mr. Judge
What in the heck were you a thinkin'?
This Open course is full of traps
You're just rotten and you're a stinkin', Mr. Judge...
With 3 jumps to the Weave Poles, we can only hope that you have... a heart attack and collapse!!! ...
NOVICE VERSES:
You nauseate me, Mr. Judge
With a nauseous, super 'naus'.
You're a crooked dirty jockey
And you drive a crooked horse, Mr. Judge...
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment imaginable, mangled up... in tangled up knots.
You're a foul one, Mr. Judge
You're a nasty, wasty Skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
And your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Judge...
the 3 words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: ... STINK, STANK, STUNK !!!...
You make me sick to my stomach, Mr. Judge
To finish with a Broad Jump.
You've got to have mush for brains
With just an occasional gooey lump!, Mr. Judge...
Your nothing but a lousy, fist raising, whistle blowing, wishy-washy pile... of fresh dog doo !!!